The answer is not 44

Apologies sexy readers if you thought this blog was going to be exclusively about bums. I'll try to post some good ones when I can but they are a rare and treasured delicacy.

But to make up for it I've got something extra good. Basically, I've solved mankind's deepest, most yearning question...

What is the meaning of life?

My (half serious) answer? To pop out some kids - the more the merrier - and fuck them up for a few years by traumatising them with the same horrors you experienced as a child. 

My reasoning is that babies are fun and older children ignore you but the in-between ages seem a wee bit dull.

My school is closing down this year and it's been on my mind quite a bit recently. I've been thinking about the different paths my friends have taken, some brilliant and batty teachers and all those ridiculous high school dramas that mattered so much you thought you would DIE. The point is, I have been feeling pretty mopy about the unfairness of the situation when I remembered this.

This was 7 years ago - how disgusting.

I suspect that most photos of girls from my school have been destroyed so that nobody in our real grown-up lives will discover that we all had to wear a BOW-TIE for at least five years. The only tiny positive fragment I could distill from such a ridiculous uniform was the possibility that I could inflict the same pain onto my children. Only now I can't (not that I would send my kids to school in Blackpool but still) and it's just another little bit of myself and a century's worth of people and history that is going to be lost. 

Anyway, to end on a positive note, I did some pretty snazzy leg work in paint and made a montage so we can all look at some famous bow tie wearers. If you can think of any more, let me know!