A minor rant about a citrus fruit

Lemon is just the worst flavour ever; it's not even my opinion, it's just a basic fact. Lemon sucks.

Lemon cheesecake may be alright or lemon sponge but really let's be honest, you'd so much rather be eating chocolate or strawberry mmmm. I was going to say that I think if lemon's your favourite you must be bloody stupid - but actually if you wanted to strike some sort of deal, whereby I can swap you all my rubbish lemon starbust and jellybabies then I think that would be grand.

The worst crime has got to be the sad little lemon in my gin and tonic. WHERE IS THE LIME?

To be the bottom of the citrus pile is saying something; I mean lime is hardly an earth-shattering flavour but at least it reminds me of Mexico or Cuba. Lemon reminds me of the industrial cleaner they use in hospitals to cover the stench of death.

To further illustrate how boring and useless lemon is, I have come up with some examples.

Lemon is:

• Ross Geller
• Ringo Starr
• That odd one from The Saturdays, er Vanessa?
• Princess Anne
• Gordon Brown
• Mr Blobby
• The Bountys left at the bottom of a box of Celebrations
• Crocs
• The 'mild' flavour at Nandos
• Belgium
• "Calm down dear, it's only a commercial"
• Alcohol-free beer



Spot the difference

Actually, searching for some Ross images has reminded me that he has had some funny moments. Comparing even him to a lemon might be a bit cruel (not that he would care, rolling in his millions..)